![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jan. 15th, 2018 04:53 pm My grandfather isn't doing so well. He had heart surgery way back in October (or November?) and it was a very rocky road for him thereafter. He also has Parkinson's and it really worsened after the surgery (and it wasn't so good to begin with). There was a lot of questioning whether he'd even make it after in the first two weeks after the surgery.
Anyway, he was in the hospital this week for what turned out to be congestive heart failure and kidney failure. (I'm getting all this from my mom, who's not always the most accurate as recent events proved). He's in rehab now and I guess his kidneys have improved, for now. He's on a restrictive diet. My mother was going on about how this is because he's not moving around and exercising enough and how he's got to get with the program and do what he has to do to remain healthy and...
My family (on my mom's side) does not handle death well. We went through this with my Great Grandma who lived to 90 but would have been a lot better off it her daughter, my grandmother, was willing to acknowledge she was actually dying and honored her wishes. Yes, she would have died earlier, but her last couple years were brutal and, of course, it was all her fault because she wasn't cooperating to do 100% of everything she could to prolong her life.
I love Poppy. He's my grandfather. I don't want him to die. But he's 80+. His heart is in very bad shape. He's got advanced Parkinsons. He's got multiple organs on the verge of failure. Rather than getting really strict with him, we should acknowledge that he has a very limited time with us at this point and let him decide what he wants instead of forcing uber-healthy food and exercise routines and whatever on him. I mean, sure if that's what he wants, but I don't believe it is. And I don't want him to face the long, drawn-out, painful death that my Great Grandma did.
I guess my own consultation is that when I'm old and nearly the end, my grandmother and mother won't be around to make those decisions for me.
Anyway, he was in the hospital this week for what turned out to be congestive heart failure and kidney failure. (I'm getting all this from my mom, who's not always the most accurate as recent events proved). He's in rehab now and I guess his kidneys have improved, for now. He's on a restrictive diet. My mother was going on about how this is because he's not moving around and exercising enough and how he's got to get with the program and do what he has to do to remain healthy and...
My family (on my mom's side) does not handle death well. We went through this with my Great Grandma who lived to 90 but would have been a lot better off it her daughter, my grandmother, was willing to acknowledge she was actually dying and honored her wishes. Yes, she would have died earlier, but her last couple years were brutal and, of course, it was all her fault because she wasn't cooperating to do 100% of everything she could to prolong her life.
I love Poppy. He's my grandfather. I don't want him to die. But he's 80+. His heart is in very bad shape. He's got advanced Parkinsons. He's got multiple organs on the verge of failure. Rather than getting really strict with him, we should acknowledge that he has a very limited time with us at this point and let him decide what he wants instead of forcing uber-healthy food and exercise routines and whatever on him. I mean, sure if that's what he wants, but I don't believe it is. And I don't want him to face the long, drawn-out, painful death that my Great Grandma did.
I guess my own consultation is that when I'm old and nearly the end, my grandmother and mother won't be around to make those decisions for me.
