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Feb. 12th, 2018 09:22 am My husband and I are friends with another couple. My husband has none Scott for probably over 20 years at this point. Maybe about eight years back, Scott met and married Debbie. Debbie's a real sweetheart and brought real light to Scott's life.
Scott has a disease. Basically his immune system is attacking his nervous system. It's destroying his eyes. But also, it's been slowly changing who he is as a person and not for the best. Not at all. He was a very sweet, if socially awkward man. But as his disease has progressed, he's become a much more toxic person to be around. Debbie, understanding that this is caused by his condition, has stood by him and cared for him as he's slowly gone downhill.
These past three months or so, however, he's declined rapidly. Things have gotten to the point that Debbie really can't take care of him anymore. Both because his needs are increasing but also because he's become increasingly abusive to her. Recently Scott's refused to go to his counseling sessions and Debbie has realized that it is at the point now that she cannot take care of him anymore, both for her own safety and because he's just at a point that he needs more help than she can provide.
After she talked to him about it, he stormed out. She called us, understandably upset and we urged her to call the police. Something she knew she had to do (she worked in social services at one point) but it's damn hard to do for a loved one. But given his condition, who knows what he was going to do. So, she called the police. Before looking in the streets for him, the checked the house to see if he doubled back. Apparently he did. They found him in the middle of trying to hang himself in the garage. They had to cut him down and take him away. He's going to be institutionalized.
I'm just....
We knew something like this would happen eventually. And yesterday I was sad about it. But today I'm just fucking pissed off.
I mean, Scott's childhood sucked. He was pretty horrifically abused by his grandparents (who raised him). He's always had anxiety, depression, a fear of abandonment, and social awkwardness because of it. But he was also incredibly caring, sensitive, and loving. And it feels like this has robbed him of all his best qualities and emphasized his worse. It feels it has killed him already and in some of the most meaningful ways I guess it has.
And Debbie, who was abused in her first marriage, had found in Scott someone who truly loved her and treated her like she should be treated, only to watch this condition warp him into something resembling her first husband. And while she knew what this was; the doctors had warned both of them that eventually this would happen, it doesn't make it any easier.
Neither of these two people deserve this. They had both been through hell early in their lives. They both had finally found real happiness with each other. And you should have seen them together before this disease took it's toll. Because they really were so happy and they brought out the best in each other.
It isn't fair.
Scott has a disease. Basically his immune system is attacking his nervous system. It's destroying his eyes. But also, it's been slowly changing who he is as a person and not for the best. Not at all. He was a very sweet, if socially awkward man. But as his disease has progressed, he's become a much more toxic person to be around. Debbie, understanding that this is caused by his condition, has stood by him and cared for him as he's slowly gone downhill.
These past three months or so, however, he's declined rapidly. Things have gotten to the point that Debbie really can't take care of him anymore. Both because his needs are increasing but also because he's become increasingly abusive to her. Recently Scott's refused to go to his counseling sessions and Debbie has realized that it is at the point now that she cannot take care of him anymore, both for her own safety and because he's just at a point that he needs more help than she can provide.
After she talked to him about it, he stormed out. She called us, understandably upset and we urged her to call the police. Something she knew she had to do (she worked in social services at one point) but it's damn hard to do for a loved one. But given his condition, who knows what he was going to do. So, she called the police. Before looking in the streets for him, the checked the house to see if he doubled back. Apparently he did. They found him in the middle of trying to hang himself in the garage. They had to cut him down and take him away. He's going to be institutionalized.
I'm just....
We knew something like this would happen eventually. And yesterday I was sad about it. But today I'm just fucking pissed off.
I mean, Scott's childhood sucked. He was pretty horrifically abused by his grandparents (who raised him). He's always had anxiety, depression, a fear of abandonment, and social awkwardness because of it. But he was also incredibly caring, sensitive, and loving. And it feels like this has robbed him of all his best qualities and emphasized his worse. It feels it has killed him already and in some of the most meaningful ways I guess it has.
And Debbie, who was abused in her first marriage, had found in Scott someone who truly loved her and treated her like she should be treated, only to watch this condition warp him into something resembling her first husband. And while she knew what this was; the doctors had warned both of them that eventually this would happen, it doesn't make it any easier.
Neither of these two people deserve this. They had both been through hell early in their lives. They both had finally found real happiness with each other. And you should have seen them together before this disease took it's toll. Because they really were so happy and they brought out the best in each other.
It isn't fair.
