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Mar. 18th, 2018 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amycooper Finn had another great day today. I know it has only been today days, but I'm starting to feel pretty confident that this is the right choice. He seems so much happier too. I'm excited to see how the next few days of school go.
He also told me that things haven't been going so well with another boy at the after school program he's been going to. I know he's had some issues but there's a bit more going on then he told me before (or rather, some stuff that he told me stopped didn't in fact stop). Nothing to the level where it's bullying exactly or that I need to step in, but certainly something to keep an eye on and mention to his teachers.
There's another thing going on, not Finn related. Last Thursday morning I was feeling a little on edge. I dropped off Amelia at daycare and started heading to work when suddenly my heart was racing. I felt a little lightheaded and breathing was a little difficult. And I had this feeling of impending doom like lead in my stomach. I had a panic attack.
I've been having a lot of trouble with anxiety, particularly this last year or so. I actually recently began seeing someone for it, though I don't feel like I'm really gelling with this therapist and might seek out another one in the near future (I've only seen her twice and what to give her another visit or two). Anxiety disorders run in my family, including my immediate family. But I don't exactly have a past that makes it any easier and I have a lot of stressers in my life currently. This last year I've had this constant fear that everything is going to unravel along with feeling overwhelmed half the time. I'm tired constantly.
So, Thursday. My husband picked me up, called out, and took me to the doctors. They made sure it wasn't heart trouble (it wasn't) and told me to come back Wednesday to meet with my primary. We're going to talk medicine. I'm a bit nervous about that, but I feel like it's really time to go that route. Hopefully after some time with a counselor, I'll be able to go off of it eventually. But much like Finn's ADHD was hitting a point where it was becoming too damaging to his life, socially, emotionally, and academically, my anxiety is reaching that point with me too. And much like Finn, this was not an easy choice to make, but hopefully it will work out just as well.
He also told me that things haven't been going so well with another boy at the after school program he's been going to. I know he's had some issues but there's a bit more going on then he told me before (or rather, some stuff that he told me stopped didn't in fact stop). Nothing to the level where it's bullying exactly or that I need to step in, but certainly something to keep an eye on and mention to his teachers.
There's another thing going on, not Finn related. Last Thursday morning I was feeling a little on edge. I dropped off Amelia at daycare and started heading to work when suddenly my heart was racing. I felt a little lightheaded and breathing was a little difficult. And I had this feeling of impending doom like lead in my stomach. I had a panic attack.
I've been having a lot of trouble with anxiety, particularly this last year or so. I actually recently began seeing someone for it, though I don't feel like I'm really gelling with this therapist and might seek out another one in the near future (I've only seen her twice and what to give her another visit or two). Anxiety disorders run in my family, including my immediate family. But I don't exactly have a past that makes it any easier and I have a lot of stressers in my life currently. This last year I've had this constant fear that everything is going to unravel along with feeling overwhelmed half the time. I'm tired constantly.
So, Thursday. My husband picked me up, called out, and took me to the doctors. They made sure it wasn't heart trouble (it wasn't) and told me to come back Wednesday to meet with my primary. We're going to talk medicine. I'm a bit nervous about that, but I feel like it's really time to go that route. Hopefully after some time with a counselor, I'll be able to go off of it eventually. But much like Finn's ADHD was hitting a point where it was becoming too damaging to his life, socially, emotionally, and academically, my anxiety is reaching that point with me too. And much like Finn, this was not an easy choice to make, but hopefully it will work out just as well.
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Date: 2018-03-19 02:32 am (UTC)This isn't related, but I was just remembering the time Aranhe, Rynogeny and I were on a road trip. It was late, and we had unknowingly driven past most of the available hotels for miles. We stopped at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere, trying to Google a place to stay, but the wifi was terrible.
You happened to be up late that night, and you googled it for us, checked the reviews, then tweeted where we should go. It was so good to know we had someone looking out for us.
Sending goodthoughts for medicine, and comfort, and solutions.
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Date: 2018-03-19 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-03-20 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-03-31 02:23 am (UTC)..that was when I ended up going to the doctor too. Its tough to do, but harder not to, I think. I admire you greatly for being able to go to a therapist. i went for a while and it helped a little (for other things) but I think I can not open up enough in the way i need it to!
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Date: 2018-03-31 04:35 pm (UTC)Medication has been, well, interesting. The first thing prescribed wasn't supposed to work at all for 2-4 weeks but worked instantly pretty much. For about three days I was doing amazingly well...until I started to get some bad and rather disturbing emotional side effects. Apparently that was not for me. Now I'm on something else and I've got to wait 1-2 weeks for it to kick in.
I suppose it's a good sign then that, less than a week in, and I don't think it's doing much.