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I woke up this morning with a message from my dumbass brother's facebook account that read "Here's your niece and nephew" with a picture of my niece and a baby I've never seen before. So apparently my dumbass brother had a fifth baby.
I messaged him back a few times and got no response to so I messaged my mom asking her if she knew what was up. She called me, lectured me about how I'm a horrible daughter for fifteen minutes, and hung up on me. Apparently I was about to make this all her fault, which was news to me. She said that I shouldn't blame her for my brother's (in)actions of not telling me or the rest of the family. Half way through I asked her what his name was and told me he's called Orion and was born in January before going back to what a horrible person I am in her treatment of her.
(I never talk to her and see how she's doing. Mom, I call you 1-2 times a week. You always just talk about the weather. You never ask how I'm doing. Mom, I always ask how you're doing and you're always bringing up the weather (seriously it's all she and her mother, my grandmother, ever talk about on the phone is what the weather's like.) Yeah, but you never follow up and about what's going on in my life. Mom, I almost always ask how your school year is going and listen to you when you talk about going out with your friends. You never check in on me while my father's dying. Mom, I've been calling you more frequently since he's been ill and twice when I asked you how you were doing with that you told me you didn't want to talk about it AND REFUSED TO EVEN PICK UP THE PHONE TO ANYONE IN THE FAMILY TO THE POINT THAT WE HAD TO HAVE SOMEONE CHECK TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE ALIVE STILL so I gave you the space you asked for. You don't care about me.)
I'm not ever going to win here.
Any who, I gave my other brother a head's up on the situation, including that if he calls mom he'll get a "reason you suck" screaming fit and hang up, to which he responded "not like I haven't heard it before (mom does this to both of us fairly routinely) and told me he got the picture too.
On the bright side, my day will likely only improve from this point. I do feel like it's progress that I reacted very differently to this that I would have in the past. I mean, yeah, I was a little frustrated about the new baby and that I wasn't told about it by my brother (or her). But I feel pretty accepting that that bizarre phone call from her was (1) not reasonable behavior on her part that was (2) an indication of her own emotional-psychological issues that (3) I can really do nothing about except laugh off and go on with me day. And, oddly enough, I didn't feel fearful or anxious about it nor did I feel a frantic need to "fix" the situation as I have in the past. Yay progress?
But anyway, looking back on my entries here, it sees like I only really have something to share when there's ~drama~ in my life (often from my family). It's another indication of an issue I have which is, for lack of another way of putting it, I really don't have any fun. Nothing eventful that's happy or exciting ever happens to me. I go to work, I work, I go home, I watch kids, I collapse into bed. I think I need to change that.
So, I'm starting to plan an overnight trip for myself. First, I'm going to buy a laptop. My computer has become kind of like the shared family computer. The laptop will be strictly me only. Then, I am going to take the laptop and myself to a hotel, probably sometime mid-summer. Preferably a hotel near or with a spa. And I'm going to spend two days getting pampered and writing (probably fanfic but maybe some poetry). It will be so good.
UPDATE: I finally got in touch with my dumbass brother. According to him, Mom's been telling him not to tell the family for months and he finally decided that it's ridiculous, the baby's 5 months old now and he sent the picture. According to my Mom, my brother was the one that didn't want to tell anyone. Both lie a lot but since my mother also said, "And I thought it best no one knows with everything else going on" I'm going to go with the guess that my brother's being the honest one in this situation. My mother really has some major issues. *sigh*
I messaged him back a few times and got no response to so I messaged my mom asking her if she knew what was up. She called me, lectured me about how I'm a horrible daughter for fifteen minutes, and hung up on me. Apparently I was about to make this all her fault, which was news to me. She said that I shouldn't blame her for my brother's (in)actions of not telling me or the rest of the family. Half way through I asked her what his name was and told me he's called Orion and was born in January before going back to what a horrible person I am in her treatment of her.
(I never talk to her and see how she's doing. Mom, I call you 1-2 times a week. You always just talk about the weather. You never ask how I'm doing. Mom, I always ask how you're doing and you're always bringing up the weather (seriously it's all she and her mother, my grandmother, ever talk about on the phone is what the weather's like.) Yeah, but you never follow up and about what's going on in my life. Mom, I almost always ask how your school year is going and listen to you when you talk about going out with your friends. You never check in on me while my father's dying. Mom, I've been calling you more frequently since he's been ill and twice when I asked you how you were doing with that you told me you didn't want to talk about it AND REFUSED TO EVEN PICK UP THE PHONE TO ANYONE IN THE FAMILY TO THE POINT THAT WE HAD TO HAVE SOMEONE CHECK TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE ALIVE STILL so I gave you the space you asked for. You don't care about me.)
I'm not ever going to win here.
Any who, I gave my other brother a head's up on the situation, including that if he calls mom he'll get a "reason you suck" screaming fit and hang up, to which he responded "not like I haven't heard it before (mom does this to both of us fairly routinely) and told me he got the picture too.
On the bright side, my day will likely only improve from this point. I do feel like it's progress that I reacted very differently to this that I would have in the past. I mean, yeah, I was a little frustrated about the new baby and that I wasn't told about it by my brother (or her). But I feel pretty accepting that that bizarre phone call from her was (1) not reasonable behavior on her part that was (2) an indication of her own emotional-psychological issues that (3) I can really do nothing about except laugh off and go on with me day. And, oddly enough, I didn't feel fearful or anxious about it nor did I feel a frantic need to "fix" the situation as I have in the past. Yay progress?
But anyway, looking back on my entries here, it sees like I only really have something to share when there's ~drama~ in my life (often from my family). It's another indication of an issue I have which is, for lack of another way of putting it, I really don't have any fun. Nothing eventful that's happy or exciting ever happens to me. I go to work, I work, I go home, I watch kids, I collapse into bed. I think I need to change that.
So, I'm starting to plan an overnight trip for myself. First, I'm going to buy a laptop. My computer has become kind of like the shared family computer. The laptop will be strictly me only. Then, I am going to take the laptop and myself to a hotel, probably sometime mid-summer. Preferably a hotel near or with a spa. And I'm going to spend two days getting pampered and writing (probably fanfic but maybe some poetry). It will be so good.
UPDATE: I finally got in touch with my dumbass brother. According to him, Mom's been telling him not to tell the family for months and he finally decided that it's ridiculous, the baby's 5 months old now and he sent the picture. According to my Mom, my brother was the one that didn't want to tell anyone. Both lie a lot but since my mother also said, "And I thought it best no one knows with everything else going on" I'm going to go with the guess that my brother's being the honest one in this situation. My mother really has some major issues. *sigh*
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I'm pretty sure you're right. I have a friend who has a mother with similar tendencies and the attitude of personal victimization is high even as she remains completely stubborn in acknowledging her own role in anything that happens.
Sounds like some time away is a great idea :)
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As for your family...dear gods. I mean, seriously. Can we pitch in and do a fundraising for your brother to have a vasectomy - and thats just for starters.
You have pretty much described most of my days (minus watching the kids part), so I think your idea of a vacation sounds lovely. I went out and bought a laptop last week -- a chromebook for around 150. Its lovely. I needed to stop bringing my work laptop home all the time!