(no subject)

[amycooper]

 So.

In my last entry I had noted that the kid that was bullying Finn (and his friend) was out of the afterschool program now.  Well, I have since learned that on Friday his friend tackled both Finn and his friend and grabbed them both by the neck and arm.  And Finn's arm's bruised.

Worse, the daycare never told us what happened.  Finn told us.  And when I contacted the program they lied to me.  They said that Finn hit the kid and the kid hit back.  But the bruising on his arm is totally inconsistent with a hit and is consistent with a grab.

I am pissed.

And I contacted CPS and am taking steps to getting some alternative afterschool childcare.

Comments

[readerjane]

Good for you! Enough is enough.

Have you taken a photo of the bruise to show CPS?

[amycooper]

Yes, we have.

[readerjane]

If Finn had actually hit a kid, you can bet the after-school people would have called you. What a bunch of irresponsible incompetents.

[amycooper]

Here's the thing though. If the situation were reversed, it would have been no better.

Here we have:

Kids are are harassing other kids routinely.
With little to no intervention.
Allowed the time and space to attack each other.
Once again with no intervention.
It is not reported to the parents.
When confronted, they have a story the runs counter with the physical evidence.

This does not sound like a safe environment.

[petzipellepingo]

Yes, definitely contact CPS.

[amycooper]

I don't like doing this but I think it's the right course of action. The CPS worker said she'd come by to talk to our son today.

[yourlibrarian]

A good plan, and a reminder to other parents to always document everything because you never know.

[amycooper]

Sadly, yes. Having pictures helped us a lot.

[superbadgirl]

We really need stop calling it bullying and call it assault. That's what it is. Bullying is a term that people poo-poo too easily these days in this era of "you're a snowflake if you don't suck it up and live with it like I did when I was a kid". If those were adults, that would be an assault.

[amycooper]

It is, and it isn't.

Having been bullied pretty badly for 3 years (in middle school) I feel like bullying is really a form of abuse, just like domestic abuse. Because it is a pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over someone else. Some bullying/abuse can be completely non-physical but still damaging, but it often escalates to being physical, as well as damaging property, threats of violence, etc. In some cases it can even get into sexual abuse.

In Finn's case, it did escalate to assault, but it also falls into a pattern where these two kids have been abusing him for over a year now, which has included threats to kill him and destroying him projects at the after school program.

And it has been allowed to go on because no one has stepped in to stop these two kids.

[libwitch]

Any updates on this? I am glad CPS was taking it seriously.

[amycooper]

Just posted an update.